Sunday 9 July 2017

Motherhood Will Never Happen For Me And This Is Why ?

Hello Beauties, this is something that I didn't think I would ever write about here but I think it's important and should be spoken about so here goes it's one of those posts that are really difficult to write about just because it's so personal I'm going to try my best so here goes .

Motherhood will never happen for me I am a very maternal woman and think that every woman if they want it should be able to experience pregnancy at least once in their lifetime and I know I am not the only woman in the world to experience this but it really hurts that I won't experience becoming a mother and the reason for this is because I have a medical consition called Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) for some women who have got this condition they have been able to conceive and have a healthy pregnancy but that was not meant to be for me .

 When I was married It was all I would wish for to become a mother just once but it wasn't to be I have a lot of love to give a child and I know I could adopt but there is nothing like experiencing pregnancy feeling your baby kick for the first time . I have a lot of young nieces and nephews and I love spending time with them I always thought that was enough but it's really not . I feel like I have been denied being a mother .

Along with not being to have a baby I have this terrible condition PCOS and when it's bad it's really bad I have had 4 operations since I was a teenager  and have been told that they won't do another operation because in the last operation that I had 13 years ago I nearly didn't wake up from the anaesthetic so the doctors don't want to take that risk unless it's absolutely necessary.

I have been experiencing a lot of pain lately and recently went to see my doctor she wants to send me for another scan to see how bad the cysts are on my ovaries and maybe I will have to operate which I am hoping they won't have to do.

I do look at the rest of my family with envy I have a older brother who has 2 children and my older sister has 3 children I feel like such a failure not being able to have children I KNOW I would have made a great mother I get told this all the time as I love being around children so much .

Some of my family look at me with envy too because I don't have any independants or commitments and I can just come and go as I please.
 I know that I am a well travelled person and have been very lucky to travel to a lot of countries in the last 10 years especially if it was one or the other I would definitely choose motherhood but I don't get a choice in that which devastates me .

I know there is a lot of women out there that have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome out there so if you see this I would love to hear your story in the comments section down below.

Thanks for reading as always I look forward to reading your comments .