I didn't expect to be doing this blog post today it's very different from any kind of blog post I have written in the past quite personal too.
I am writing this post because for the first time in 19 months yesterday I sat down in front of my camera and filmed a video for You Tube it took a lot of takes but I got there in the end and even managed some Lipstick swatches during the end of the video the L.A Girl Matte Lipsticks .
Your probably asking yourselves why I haven't been on You Tube in that amount of time the answer is there are just so many different reasons.
Mainly because I developed pretty bad Anxiety around that time and decided I needed a break from You Tube it was always my intention to come back and make videos but I decided I needed a 6 months break to get myself better. How wrong was I ? Six months turned to 12 months and before I knew it 19 months had passed.
I have been thinking over the last 4 or 5 months that I would like to come back and make videos as I loved filming you tube videos the first time around but was only on such a short amount of time I was only on you tube 6 months before I had a break.
Anyway a couple of days ago I decided that I wanted to make a you tube video explaining a little bit to the people that are subscribed to my channel where I have been and what I have been doing since I last filmed.
I didn't really go into too much detail about the Anxiety and what caused it as it's still relatively new to me and I am still finding Coping Strategies of how to manage it.
I feel like I am getting there I have had a lot of help with the best ways of managing it took me the longest time to go to the doctor about this but in the end
I just had to Accept that I needed Help brushing things like this under the carpet just don't help you
There is so much Help out there for you if you need it you just need to ask you doctor so if you are struggling with Anxiety or Depression like I was please don't wait for things to get worse seek Help from your doctor.
I was so nervous throughout filming this video if you go and watch it you will see and like I said earlier it much have took 20-30 takes to get this footage but that is because it has been so long since my last video.
So hopefully the more videos that I do the more confident I will appear on camera.
That's one thing you don't have to think about when blogging you just write and then proof read and if you don't like what you are reading you can go and change it but with filming it's re-take after re-take especially when your as much as a Perfectionist as I am I just wanted my first video in such a long time to be as good as I can make it and even this had a few bits in it that really could do with Editing but I haven't quite figured out how to do that yet.
I would really appreciate it if you would go and check out my channel I'll leave the link to this particular video.
Excuse the really bad lighting it was early hours in the morning I couldn't sleep so I thought I would do a video may have not been my best idea as I look so tired in this video.
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